IchiRuki - The Power Within

There is no moon out tonight. There's nothing but a dark, empty sky. It's just another reminder that you too are gone. Day's have turned into endless nights, weeks have blurred together…I've just lost all concepts of time since you left. Because of your disappearance, it's like all the color in the world has completely faded. Everything, the grass, the sky, the sun, has lost its vibrance. All that's left is a colorless world; a lifeless illusion of black and white.

The more I think about it, the more I begin to wonder if it was real. Maybe I was dreaming all of it. Maybe it was all just a huge part of my imagination and that world we lived and fought in never really existed. Or maybe, I'm asleep right now and this world called 'reality' is really the dream. It's been so long, I can't tell the difference anymore. I wish there was some way I could wake up from this nightmare. I just wish you were here…Rukia.

XXXX


"Still locked away in your room, huh?"

"Go away, Renji. I don't want to talk to you."

"Look at you, Rukia! You're a complete mess! You need to get outside, get some fresh air!"

"No thanks," I said, my hair falling in my face as I turned away from him.

"I'm not giving you a choice," Renji said angrily before walking over to me and slinging me over his shoulder.

"Hey! What gives! Put me down!"

"Shut your damn mouth and quit squirming! This is for your own good!" he replied, carrying me towards the bright sunlight.

"What happened to you?" he asked minutes later, placing me down carefully on the porch beside him.

"What are you talking about? I'm fine."

"I mean what happened? Have you seen yourself lately? Your hair has grown quite a bit, you look paler than usual, and it's obvious you've lost weight."

"It's nothing to worry about, Renji."

"Like hell it isn't! You barely come out of your room! Your brother is worried sick about you! I'm worried about you! And I bet you ten thousand kan Ichigo would rip you a new one if he saw you like this!"

I fell silent at the harshness in Renji's voice before speaking.

"Ichigo won't see me like this. He can't…and he never will." I said slowly, staring at the ground.

"….ooooh. I get it now. You're still worried about him, aren't you?"

"I broke my promise, Renji." I said quietly.

"What promise?"

"That day…the day he lost his powers, I made him a promise. I told him I wouldn't leave him, and that's exactly what I've done."

Renji sighed and sat down quietly beside me.

"He can no longer see me, hear me, touch me, anything. I said I wouldn't leave, and yet, I've been removed from his life and it's just not fair!"

"Rukia, none of that is your fault!"

"How can you say that?!" I screeched, my voice shaking.

"Because it's the truth. You've done nothing wrong. Ichigo knew the price he had to pay, so it's his fault, not yours. Do you understand?" Renji said.

"You're wrong…" I said, my body trembling with anger.

"Do you honestly believe you're responsible for him losing his powers? Because I know you better than anyone, and I know you don't really blame yourself." He said calmly.

"Renji…" I said.

"I know what's really bothering you. It's written all over your face. You're miserable without him, am I right?"

I stared at him, my mouth slightly open and my brain numb, unable to fully process what he had just said.

"I…I uh…"

"It's alright; you don't have to say it. I already know it's the truth. But…can I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

"If you're miserable here, why haven't you gone back?"

I paused, slightly taken back by his question. He had a point, though. What was the reason I remained in the Soul Society for so long?

"I really don't know…" I replied honestly. "Maybe I'm afraid,"

"You? Afraid? Of what?"

"I just…what if he's forgotten about me? Or worse…maybe he remembers me and is angry with what's happened and hates me for not coming back."

Renji sighed again before placing his hand on my shoulder.

"Rukia, listen. There is no way Ichigo would ever forget about you. You changed his life. Last I checked, you don't forget someone like that. And if I know Ichigo, I know he would never hold something like this against you. He's a lot like you in some ways; blames himself before blaming others."

"I don't know…" I said.

"Look, skulking around here in the soul society is not going to close the gap between the two of you. If you miss him that much, then fight this depression and go to him. That's what the Rukia I know would do, and I'm sure Ichigo's doing the same thing. He won't stop until he finds his powers and he won't stop until you're in his arms again."

I smiled softly at him before giving him a gentile hug.

"Thank you…." I whispered.

He grinned slightly. "Don't thank me yet. Once you see Ichigo again, then you can thank me."

XXXX


"Have you forgotten me…Ichigo?"

I blinked twice, trying to clear my vision to see the dark figure standing before me.

"Who are you?" I said to it.

The figure grew silent.

"I see….how very sad. I would have thought you'd at least remember the sound of my
voice." He said, before slowly fading away.

"No wait! Don't go! Come back! Hey!" I shouted.

My eyes bolted open as I awoke in a pool of my own sweat. My eyes slowly adjusted to the darkness that filed my room as I sat myself up.

I've been having the same dream for a few nights now. Each night, the black figure becomes slightly clearer than the last, but still, I can't see his face.

"I would have thought you'd at least remember the sound of my voice."

The sad thing is, I do remember that voice. It seems so familiar, yet something about it has changed. It seems as though, somehow, the voice is filled with sorrow. Almost as if it's desperately crying out to someone it's lost. And the more I stop to think about it, the more I begin to recognize just who that voice belongs to.

Zangetsu.

XXXX


"Well, this is an unexpected surprise! Long time no see, Ichigo!"

"…Kisuke…"

"You seem troubled by something. Why not come in and have some tea while I pick your brain?"

I nodded and followed the shoddy shop keeper into the familiar store and took a seat at the small table.

"Tessai, we have a visitor!" Urahara chimed. "Make some tea, will ya?"

"Yes sir – Oh! Ichigo! So good to see you again." The tall man said, bowing to me.

"Uh…hello." I said nervously.

"Alright, alright, quit eyeballin' the poor kid and get back to making the tea." Urahara said, gesturing him out of the room.

"Now that they're gone for the moment, why not start off with explaining why you're here after not visiting for so many months."

"I need to ask you something. I could ask my dad, but something tells me you'll be able to help me better than he can."

He stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"Go on…" he said.

"It's just…I think I've been seeing Zangetsu in my dreams. He keeps calling out to me, but I can't see him clearly. All I see is a black figure."

"I had a feeling this would happen," he said to me.

"What do you mean?"

"When your dad trained you, he taught you how to use the Final Getsuga Tenshou, correct?"

"Well yeah, but-"

"If I know Isshin like I think I do, it's almost guaranteed he taught you how to use it without actually using the full extent of your powers."

I glared at him in confusion.

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means that your father protected you from completely destroying your powers."

"Destroying?"

"You're a bit slow today, aren't you? Look, what I'm saying is this: when you use the final Getsuga, you are using every bit of power you have, which will, in the end, destroy that power permanently. See, what's interesting is, your father discovered a loophole and taught you to use it without causing permanent damage to your powers." He explained.

"So you're saying that I still have my soul reaper powers?!" I exclaimed.

"Technically, yes. But you see, there is something that troubles me."

"What is it?"

"You said Zangetsu is appearing in your dreams, but you can only hear his voice and not see him clearly. If I'm correct, this tells me that Zangetsu is having some trouble restoring himself."

"So…wait a second. I'm not following you."

"It seems to me that, although your abilities are somewhat returning, your Zanpaku-to suffered more damage that you did.

"So how do I help him? What can I do to get Zangetsu back to normal?" I asked frantically.

"Calm down. He might just need a booster of some sort."

"What do you mean by 'booster?"

"In order for Zangetsu to fully recover, you're going to have to settle your own turmoil going on inside of you. I believe, because of some inner conflict you've got going on, that your powers are being suppressed a bit. And because of that, Zangetsu is also suffering."

"Because of…me?"

"That's one way to look at it. So tell me, Ichigo. What is it that's really bothering you? After all, you seemed pretty content without your powers. Why the change of heart?"

I stared at him for a moment, my mind buzzing with so many thoughts, I was afraid it would burst.

"It's just…"

"It has to do with Rukia, doesn't it?" he said suddenly, causing me to flinch at the sound of
her name.

"How…?"

"It's obvious that's what's got you so confused. The rain is back in your heart again, isn't it?"

I couldn't answer him. Instead, I clenched my fists and averted my eyes to the floor.

"She was the one who made it stop, was she not?" he prodded.

"Where are you going with this?" I said through clenched teeth.

"Your entire world was changed because of her, and even though you won't openly admit
it, you were truly happy and more than thankful to her. You were finally given the power to protect those you cared about, all because of her. She was always your source of strength, wasn't she? If she is that important to you, then who do you think is important to Zangetsu?"

I paused for a moment to mull over the points he had made. If Rukia really is the reason behind my strength, then that means when she stabbed me with her Zanpaku-to that night she gave me her powers, that it was her Zanpaku-to that awakened Zangetsu. So Zangetsu's source of strength is…

"Sode no Shirayuki…" I muttered.

"Bingo," Urahara said a look of satisfaction on his face.

"So what do I do now?" I said slowly.

"Right now, I'm not entirely sure. There really isn't anything you can do."

"Why not?"

"Because without Rukia, you can never fully regain your powers. You need her to clear away that rain and Zangetsu needs Sode no Shirayuki to regain his strength."

"I'm well aware of that, but there's still one problem." I said.

"Rukia hasn't been here in seventeen months. She's probably forgotten all about me by now."

"And you expect me to believe that?"

I looked up at him out of frustration.

"What are you saying?"

"Come now, Ichigo. Do you honestly believe she'd forget about someone like you? You're
just as big of an influence in her life as she is to yours."

"But…that's not possible is it?"

"You risked your life to save hers. Something like that isn't easily forgotten."

He was right, something like that isn't forgettable. No matter how many years pass by, the face of the person who saved your life will always remain crystal clear, and the name will always be on your mind. That's how it's been for me, and I know that's how Rukia feels.

"So, without Rukia, Zangetsu and I will never fully recover?"

"That's right."

"Then how do we close the gap between us? What exactly do you want me to do?"

"Don't you worry about that. Just leave everything to me." He said with a suspicious smile. "You just go home and get some rest. You're going to need it for tomorrow."


XXXX

I stared at my ceiling as I lay on my bed, my brain slowly becoming numb from the crazy thoughts buzzing in my head. I shut my eyes and sighed. I thought that by going to Urahara, he would clear up some of this confusion, but all he did was fill me with more questions.

"Just what the hell are you planning, Kisuke?" I said aloud, pinching the bridge of my nose.

Moments later, I felt myself drift off into sleep, Zangetsu's blurry figure appearing before my closed eyes.
"Ichigo…" he said sadly. "I miss her."

"I know…" I muttered. "I miss her too."


XXXX


"Captain Kuchiki…can I ask you something?"

"What is it, Renji?"

"It's…it's about Rukia, captain. I need your help with something."

"What is it you have planned, exactly?" Byakuya asked.

"A close friend of mine back in the world of the living has put together a plan to get Ichigo's powers back and to snap Rukia out of her depression. I need your help to make sure this plan goes through."

"Why would I help that Kuroaski boy with anything?" Byakuya asked coldly.

"Because by helping Ichigo, you're helping Rukia! Isn't that what you've been trying to do for some time now?"

"I fail to see how those two matters are related."

"You can't be serious! How can you honestly sit there and say that? You know just as well as I do just how Important Ichigo is to your sister!"

"Regardless of the details, I don't see why I should get involved."

Renji growled at his comment, his anger level increasing exponentially.

"Alright, fine! Then don't think of it as doing Ichigo a favor. Think of it as doing Rukia a favor. After everything she's done for you, it's the least you can do for her!"

"Mind your tongue, lieutenant!"

"Hate to disappoint you, captain, but I refuse! I'm disgusted that you won't even do one measly thing to protect your sister! If you don't help me and Kisuke Urahara with this plan, Rukia will never recover from this and neither will Ichigo!"

"…I still don't see why I need to help Kurosaki."

"Because Rukia's in love with him, that's why!" Renji shouted, causing Byakuya's face to become pale.

"Come on, Captain. You were in love once. Hell, you're still in love with Hisana, right? Even though she's not here anymore, you still love her. And every day that passes by feel like an eternity wither her, doesn't it? You're miserable captain, I know you are. Do you really want Rukia to go through the same hell you're going through? Do you really want her to suffer like this for the rest of her life? Because I know deep down, you want to see her smile again."

Byakuya stared at Renji, his eyes shaking fervently, unable to find the right words to say.

"If you do this…if you help me help her, you'll end her suffering. Just…please. Don't let pride interfere with sincerity and love. Because, if you do, then everyone will suffer."

"Renji…how do you know about Hisana?"

"Rukia and I are close friends. Surely you must have known she told me about her true relationship with you and who Hisana really was.."

"…if I agree to help you, will you promise to help me keep an eyes on Ichigo Kurosaki?"

Renji paused before laughing slightly.

"I'll do anything you want, captain." Renji replied.

"Alright then. Let me ask you one more time. What is it exactly you all have planned?"

Renji smirked and pulled a neatly folded letter out from his shihaksho.

"It's all explained in this," he said, handing the letter over to Byakuya.

"….that's it?" he asked, an eyebrow rose after reading the letter.

"That's it," Renji replied.

"But that's so…simple."

"Which is exactly why it's going to work."

"If you say so…" Byakuya said, a sickly feeling sweeping over his body.